Three talking-point Newcastle United kits. One beloved club. One wobbly manufacturer.
And three completely different theories about what Newcastle United is.
No wonder Newcastle United supporters are so full of angst.
Solely based on kits, the club has an identity crisis.
This season adidas gave us a home shirt that broke 132 years of tradition, an away shirt in what has become our de facto primary change kit colour, and a third kit that… exists.
And all of this topped by the unveiling on Thursday, October 1, of the new Newcastle United crest.
Let’s take the strips one at a time.
HOME STRIP: The Barcode
Image: Dave Marshall (AI Generated)
This season’s stripes aren’t stripes so much as a disjointed barcode pattern…
Trimmed with bright blue on the collar, cuffs, and the shoulder Three Stripes, and a magpie on the back of the collar.
The disrupted stripe widths broke over 130 years of tradition.
The official story is this:
1 – the disrupted layout “symbolises the modern energy, momentum, and disruptive ambition of Newcastle United on the European stage,” and…
2 – the bright blue “honours classic adidas kits of the mid-1990s that featured blue collar trim.”
We all know marketing fertiliser when we see it.
Because here’s the thing:
adidas ran this exact architecture on Juventus last season.
Same disrupted vertical stripes, same eye-popping trim colour on the shoulders and collar… basically the same template.
Except Juve’s accent colour was pink
Image: Dave Marshall (AI Generated)
The point? Our ‘26-’27 home strip isn’t a Newcastle idea. It’s a shared template.
There’s no reason to mess with our iconic home shirt. Yes, from season to season the stripe widths can change.
Maybe there’s a gradient of sorts, similar to Argentina’s stripes in the past World Cups.
Or maybe the edges of the stripes are not precise. For example, there could be a castle top type for each edge.
But not this. Not a barcode design. I half expect to get news in a year or two that these were actually a malevolent way to track you via drone, satellite, or regular surveillance camera.
Instead of an implant, you wear the shirt and instantly pop up in some dark room where “they” are watching us.
Anyway, I digress.
What should differentiate home shirts from season to season is the trim.
This year’s trim is a great colour: bright blue. It matches the banner with Newcastle United on the badge.
But three thick stripes on the shoulder and then down the arms of the long sleeve?
Of course, we all know why three stripes, but it looks oafish.
Three thin stripes? Maybe. One thick blue instead of three? Possibly.
But the three thick stripes is too much trim.
To be clear, I don’t hate the home strip as much as some.
From certain angles, in certain lights, the barcode has a bit of swagger, and the magpie at the neck is cool.
But the United stripes… that’s our identity.
It’s not my only gripe, though.
Let’s flip it over and talk about the back
Image: Dave Marshall (AI Generated)
The front gets all the controversy, but the back is just plain lazy.
Why, lately, is there this enormous white space for the name and number?
From the back, the jersey looks like Spurs or Leeds. Until you get to the tail, which is the striped barcode style. That makes it even worse.
From a fan’s perspective, it’s not a good look… the giant blank white slab across the shoulders and back.
For the many fans who don’t get a jersey with a name and number, the back of the jersey looks like a form they forgot to fill in.
If the shirt needs a light background for legibility, why not print the name on a white nameplate that’s only as large as the player’s name?
And put the number in a circle that’s just big enough for the number?
Clean, tidy, contained. The rest of the back stays striped.
Or, as United have done in the past, ditch the slab entirely and just use better colours.
Image: Dave Marshall (AI Generated)
Shiny red or loud red numbers and names straight onto the stripes would look superb and properly Newcastle.
Bright blue or bright green work. Some versions of yellow or gold, like in the Northern Rock era, would work too.
But a white rectangle the size of a dinner tray is not the answer.
Home Strip Verdict: 5
Barely a decent effort from adidas.
Bottom line: don’t mess with the stripes unless it’s subtle. Trim wisely and tastefully without being so marketing-obvious for the kit maker. Find a better way to render the back. The white space is awful.
Finally, while I like the Magpie on the back of the collar, why is it the same for all three kits? Why not diversify? Say, use the two seahorses. No, it’s not our nickname, but they’re obviously a massive part of the badge for many years and even on the just-announced updated crest; why can’t they be an alternative logo? Or how about some version of the Castle? Anyway, just don’t use the same logo on the back of the collar across all three strips.
*Stayed “tooned” for Part 2: The Castle. Coming soon.
NOTE: Renderings above generated with AI via the author’s imagination and given instructions.