Drinking beer in the stands at Newcastle United matches – Is it finally time?

It’s funny how you notice things more during the international break without Newcastle United to take up all your attention. For example, was everyone aware we have a new Prime Minister?

Yes, I know this isn’t the rare occurrence it once was (waiting patiently for my turn which I reckon will be around 2038) but it always gives a bit of a shake up as the new incumbent starts making a few waves to secure his or her position in the long term.

Ordinarily I wouldn’t comment on the politicals in this publication, but one of Andy Burnham’s recent prospective policies is highly relevant to my demographic, as it concerns beer and football.

If you hadn’t heard, the PM has floated the idea of being able to drink in the stands while watching a match.

The overarching reason is that it’s discriminatory to say that football fans can’t have a beer during the match, whereas this is allowed both in the women’s game and in every other British sport (unless I’m missing something). So why should an antiquated rule that was brought in at the height of 80s hooligan culture still apply now? I’ll tell you for why right now.

I had to utilise some executive control to get this on the agenda for the latest episode of The Mag Pod, where an articulate and well thought-out argument can be heard in full, but I’ll summarise briefly.

Basically, the reasons are twofold.

First off, there’s the disruption to the game caused by people who are more focussed on having a drink than seeing the match, either because that’s their general priority or because the match in question is driving you to drink. Folk that would have to sit and stare into the face of a poor performance (and ideally help spur the team to turn it around) can now slink off and seek comfort at a concourse bar. This will be disruptive in an all-seater stadium as they bob up and down and bimble down the stairs while Newcastle United are about to take a corner. Then, they’ll inevitably need a wee and the whole thing will play out again.

Secondly, there’s the fact that maybe this is putting a bit much good faith in people. Anyone who’s been to a gig, or one of those England games at a box park, will know there’s a certain type of character that thinks it’s all part of the fun to launch pints up in the air. This is both a waste of beer and a form of assault, as anyone on the receiving end of a pelted pint of flat Carling must now spend the rest of their day smelling like musky vinegar.

I have no doubt that this behaviour would creep into away ends at least and I would find this extra annoying as a) it’s hard to get served in most away sections so people wantonly discarding these pints would see me for one get in a bit of a miff, and b) I generally like to stop out for a bit after away games (and often have only one pair of trousers) so I’m not keen on heading into the night smelling like a tramp’s toilet.

It sadly emerged that there are certain characters associated with The Mag podcast who would positively embrace the opportunity to walk around stinking like the old Gallowgate bogs but I would like once again to dissociate myself from such filth.

These cons to me spell out a big fat “No” that I believe has been echoed amongst matchgoing fans across all media I’ve seen.

Of course there are positives – I’m often the guilty person who is stood trying to force down a (plastic) bottle while everyone else is ready to head to the seats and I’d find it easier to take it with me and casually see it off. Queues at half time may be less congested if people are staggering their orders throughout the game and I bet many people would have a better time without ruining it for anyone else by popping up and down like whack a mole. Possibly the best argument though was one I hadn’t considered, when I saw a post advocating how this could be a massive financial boost for smaller clubs in the lower leagues, as it would multiply their matchday takings.

These are all good points but I think the discussion on The Mag Pod could be summed up as following the Brian Clough trajectory: we sat down, talked about it for a while then decided that I was right.

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