Well, here we are again.
I’m starting to think my insistence that pre-season friendlies aren’t for me is sounding unlikely given the time I seem to be spending at them.
The traditional pre-season double header had become something I enjoyed, given the more available tickets allowed a wider group to potentially attend and it offered the chance for a full weekend around a usually sunny Newcastle that couldn’t be spoiled by matches of diminished importance.
This year felt different, and not in a good way.
Most of the lads stayed away, as the last year or so has reduced the appeal of such things. This was also the day I had something of an epiphany, wondering if the process of splitting the squad across two games instead of having next week’s starting XI have a valuable practice run out was a contributing factor in our persistent slow starts under Eddie Howe.
Jaissle seemed resigned to continuing this approach, as a semi robust starting team was supplemented by a bench filled with kids, with some obvious omissions being used for Strasbourg tomorrow.
As ever with a crowd including some newcomers, the scenes at the turnstiles were chaotic. I started wondering if the small instructional diagram should be much bigger and more simplistic as the melee in front of me gradually reduced, but for all the delays I wasn’t too bothered about missing this kick off (Premier League games will see a far more unhinged response). We got in having missed only a few minutes and I was immediately impressed by the presence of two larger screens buttressing either end of the Gallowgate, with the capacity for replays and a clock that I will be able to make out from my seat. I reckon I was on about my third glance at this around ten minutes in when I did a comical double take and said to my equally oblivious son “Hang on they’re winning 1-0!”
At this point the lady in front of us kindly pointed out that Leverkusen had scored in the first minute and a quick search of other online reports kindly informed me that Maza was given too much space and allowed to curl a shot from distance past Hornicek. Various online comments suggest the keeper may have done better but I didn’t get a great view from outside turnstile 59.
Photo by Jamie Smith via The Mag
The game was fairly pre-season other than this unseen development, with Barnes on the left trying to beat his markers with differing levels of success and Elanga on the right looking to whip balls in for Wissa. Stand out player for United was arguably Miley the younger, with Mason joining big bro Lewis as the latest siblings in black and white and impressing throughout. His smart ball over saw Wissa hit a decent volley that former Brentford goalie Flekken was equal to.
The presence of a stupid daft drinks break that no one wants or needs was roundly booed, but also used as an opportunity to make United change shirts. Why Leverkusen were wearing a white change kit with blue trim is beyond me when their usual red would have been just fine, but it was clearly clashing with the home kit. The third shirt that everyone is calling purple but is clearly pink was used for the rest of the match.
Photo by The Mag
The remainder of the half saw United play their best stuff by far, with repeated pressure paying off late on when Elanga delivered an excellent corner that was headed smartly in by Thiaw at the back post, despite Flekken’s complaints at being manhandled by a Miley.
Half time saw Miley the elder withdrawn in what I earnestly hope is a mere precaution, with promising talent Rory Finneran given some minutes, a positive only slightly dampened by the contrast in Leverkusen chucking on Patrick Schick.
This was maybe the tone setter for a poor second half as the visitors made changes throughout that were clearly flexing their Bundesliga ready team, with the likes of Boniface coming on while United made do with the late introductions of Sean Neave and Miodraig Pivas. Their more seasoned colleagues delivered very little in that time though, as a non event second period looked set to peter out when Boniface was allowed space to wander into the box and finish in similar fashion to George’s goal for Everton a couple of days back. I have an irrational level of hope towards Dan Burn returning to be a commanding voice in sorting this back four out, with the newly announced club captain set for a huge burden in terms of leadership.
Photo by Jamie Smith via The Mag
I would categorise this performance as a bit better than Everton, inferior to Valencia and overall adding to the concerns for the campaign ahead. Newcastle look like an incredibly fragile team and the worry is that the small positives (Sean Steur, some livelier showings from Elanga) will die on the vine when forced to face Liverpool with an undercooked side around them.
Although a decent side can be assembled for Strasbourg tomorrow, it’s likely that this one will be the stronger and their failure to create was as worrying as their defensive fallibility. I would imagine the various groups I’m part of are consistent with all fan interactions in that fear of relegation far outweighs the hopes of Europe. Right now if you offered me a repeat of last year’s twelfth place I’d snap your hand off.
Least I got to see and taste some actual Knox hydrate. Leaves a similar taste in the mouth as NUFC.
Photo by Jamie Smith via The Mag
Final Score
Newcastle United 1 Bayer Leverkusen 2
Goals
Bayer Leverkusen: Maza 1, Boniface 82
Newcastle United: Thiaw 44
Newcastle United team v Bayer Leverkusen:
Hornicek, Mason Miley (Pivas 81), Thiaw, Botman, Hall, Lewis Miley (Finneran 46), Steur, Barnes, Elanga, Woltemade (Neave 86), Wissa
Unused subs:
Harris, Charlton, Johnson, Sanusi
Newcastle United schedule:
Sunday 16 August 2026
Newcastle United v Strasbourg friendly at St James’ Park, 4pm.
Sunday 23 August 2026
Newcastle v Liverpool 4.30pm – United’s first Premier League match of the season
You can follow the author on BlueSky @bigjimwinsalot.bsky.social