Following Newcastle United losing to Strasbourg on penalties, I played up to the Geordie stereotype by comfort eating a Greggs (Chicken Bake in case you were wondering) and reflected on the previous two hours I’d spent seeing the start of the NUFC Matthias Jaissle Era for myself.
Many questions swirled around my head such as ‘Is Dan Burn the right man to captain the club?’ and…
‘How long will we be able to hold on to Sean Steur for?’
But the one that hit me hardest was ‘Is this the worst Premier League pre-season the club has had in recent memory?’
Now before you all grab your pitchforks and torches ready to hang draw and quarter me for yet ANOTHER doomsayer post about Newcastle United before a ball has even kicked, I want to preface this by saying that the 2025/26 season wasn’t a truly awful season. Yes there were terrible moments like the poor league finish, the whimpering exit in the Champions League and the crème de la crème of Geordie humiliation in the double derby loss – but objectively, there were also a few positives such as yet another fantastic league cup run with our third semi-final appearance in four seasons.
If it was a season pre-PIF, it would probably have been one of the better seasons but compared to what we’re used to and the upward trajectory we’ve had over the last five years, it was the worst in many ways and this summer was pivotal to correcting course for us – and in my opinion it couldn’t have gone any worse when you look at just what’s happened far.
First came the first of many player exits – Anthony Gordon completed his big money move to Barcelona. Buzz from fans was fairly positive at this transfer with many feeling that £70m was fantastic business for a player that was more miss than hit during his three years on Tyneside.
Despite a nice boost to the club’s transfer kitty, this was soured in early June with the unveiling of arguably the most horrific home shirt design Newcastle United have had in a very long time. The fan backlash was loud and put many fans’ backs up in terms of the club not paying attention to our history by making essentially a barcode our identity for the the next 12 months, which went down an absolute treat with the ‘great unwashed’ over the river.
Things then went from bad to worse at the start of July when Sandro Tonali made a £100m move to Spurs in a transfer that most fans were incredibly disappointed with, despite another huge fee. Two big outgoings but a very healthy £170m added to the transfer kitty for Eddie Howe to rebuild with.
Multiple youngsters were brought in but key targets were missed when we were embarrassingly turned down for clubs that could offer Champions League football. However, after a decent 3-0 win against non-league Darlington and a poor 1-1 draw against Gateshead, fans were ready to see how our new signings fared against some EFL opposition.
Not very well was the answer with a pretty humiliating 4-1 loss to Bristol City. A setback for sure but many fans felt that it was only a matter of time before Eddie Howe turned it around – which wouldn’t happen as Howe shocked many by resigning as manager due to what I believe was a mixture of fatigue and the club’s shift in transfer policy, which ultimately turned Newcastle United into a feeder club for elite teams.
Fans were excited to see who would replace Eddie Howe with many elite names being mentioned in the media. But this being Newcastle United, it was confirmed quite quickly that an elite well known manager wasn’t going to materialise after all, with relatively unknown head coach Matthias Jaissle quickly appointed.
Whilst a change in manager wasn’t the worst thing for those Newcastle United fans who’d grown tired of Eddie Howe’s lack of Plan B and predictable tactics, there was hope that our pre-season could finally start proper with the new man in charge.
That hope died fairly quickly for many fans as our worst fears came true when Arsenal agreed a £75m fee for our talisman and best player the club has had in the last twenty years in Bruno Guimaraes. The man who’d captained Newcastle United to arguably our most successful Premier League era moved to another one of the Premier League’s cartel clubs, further solidifying our new status as a feeder to the elite.
The pre-season timeline then spirals into a what we call in the north east as a “complete s…show” with news updates that just get worse; yet another humiliating player rejection by an arguably over the hill Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg, the club (allegedly) finalising our ‘new’ club badge which is arguably just a poorer quality version of the one we have now, then three losses on the bounce making our final pre-season results look like this:
• 2x wins
• 1x draw
• 4x losses
• 10 goals scored
• 12 goals conceded
With all of that in the space of two and half months, is it any wonder we’re finding it hard to expect big things the season?