When I was young, I dreamed about playing for Newcastle United.
There were countless re-enactments of goals, names screamed as the ball hit the brick wall where we played.
It was my life. Me and my brother in our kits.
We would split into teams and we would be Newcastle United and sometimes we’d force the other kids to be Sunderland. It was the game that mattered.
We had to play until we won, baths, tea all delayed until the scream of MacDonald was heard and we’d come in.
As I grew up, the game took on more significance as relatives were quizzed about which club they followed and if they weren’t bothered, then I bothered them until they were.
It meant everything to beat that lot. New Year’s Day, Halloween, the FA Cup and the best game I have ever been to, the 1-0 Dabizas header at their place.
I can feel every victory, every defeat and every goal scored. It is simply the most important game of my life. It’s history. It’s a game against the people who fought against us in the civil war. I don’t even have any clothes that are red and white. It’s an obsession.
So this week we have a manager who reckons the biggest game he has been in charge of is Barcelona. Some game abroad that’s like a holiday on the drink to our fans and just a money spinner to our club. Who cares what the score was? We have no rivalry with them.
So everything rested on Sunday’s result. The whole season. And it has been a dreadful season too.
So to cap off what I see is the decline of the Eddie Howe tenure, we have that performance.
This to me is what the end game looks like. Players out of position, players bought who aren’t good enough, useless tactics and an inability to do the basics. There isn’t a player I wouldn’t sell to improve the club but that isn’t going to happen.
This team and manager have run their course.
The quickest change and most effective is in the manager’s seat. Eddie Howe is a lovely bloke but he needs replacing now. He can’t take us to the next level and Sunday, for me, was the final straw.
Performances all over the place from the first game of the season and no idea how to beat teams. We need a bloke like Diego Simeone, or failing him, the Bournemouth manager, or maybe to look abroad.
The thought of Eddie Howe in charge next season, with a front line of Nick Woltemade, Yoane Wissa and Will Osula, makes me want to cry on the one hand, but on the other it makes me feel I’ve still got a chance of playing for the toon at 50+.