Arsenal have spent the entire summer trying to sign Bruno Guimaraes.
Well, I say the Gunners have been trying to sign the Newcastle United captain this summer.
In reality, Arsenal still yet to put in any bid for Bruno Guimaraes, not even making formal contact with Newcastle United.
Instead they have been relying on willing fools in the media.
These slavish willing fools acting like lapdogs, as they act as not so unofficial Arsenal mouthpieces, repeatedly pushing the Gunners’ agenda such as “We are willing…”, sorry, “Arsenal are willing… to pay whatever is the latest lowball pittance for Bruno Guimares AND be warned, just because he is Newcastle United’s best player, their leader, their captain, their talisman, their top Premier League scorer last season, don’t expect a penny more than “Enter amount which is Newcastle United’s valuation (***When in reality he is priceless for NUFC anyway) less 40%, less 60%, less 50%, less 70%, then add a fiver.”
Anyway, according to my impeccable “sauces’, my top notch “in cider” information, I can exclusively reveal that Arsenal are now taking inspiration from the cunning Chelsea strategy, when it comes to the Gunners and their Bruno Guimaraes approach.
Chelsea are currently in talks to sign Brentford’s 36-year-old Jordan Henderson and Brighton’s Danny Welbeck who will turn 36 in November.
So taking that from Chelsea as inspiration, I can now exclusively reveal that Arsenal are now accepting that what they are currently offering is in line with what Bruno Guimaraes will be worth when he turns 36. The Gunners now intending to make proper contact with Newcastle United and to get NUFC to accept their £50m-£60m valuation BUT with then after agreement, Bruno Guimaraes to in the meantime stay at St James’ Park until summer 2033 or January 2034 when he will eventually move to the Emirates and play for Arsenal.
A compromise agreement to suit all parties.